“International hopes shifted to the airship, the latest transport sensation. American journalist Walter Wellman stepped forward. He had received a telegram from the editor of the Chicago Record-Herald with the order BUILD AN AIRSHIP AND WITH IT GO FIND THE NORTH POLE, surely a candidate for the most ambitious instruction ever to issue from a newsroom.”—Sara Wheeler, Magnetic North: Notes From the Arctic Circle, pg. 190 (via harrisj)
“Did you notice I’m currently the Foursquare mayor of Phoenix City Hall? Do you even know what that means? I’ll tell you what it means: it means I’m kind of almost LITERALLY THE MAYOR. I don’t think you appreciate how difficult that was to nail down; you can’t just sleep in the parking lot there the way you can here. Oh no. They’ve got security, they’ve got cameras. You’ve got to put your time in over there, boy. Working hours only. And they’re pretty rigid on the definition of “loitering.” Luckily, I’ve got a delinquent child support thing going on right now that keeps me in court a lot.”—McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: I’m the Foursquare Mayor of This Goddamn Safeway.